I hope to be more helpful than our old friend, Clippy.
I’ve recently found myself in the situation of trying to find housing for the fall semester. Communication issues found me lacking my previously envisioned spot, so I’m on the hunt once more. Perusing Craigslist and KSL are difficult because most listings lack decorum and consistency. I intend to lay down a few hard-and-fast rules to make it easier to sell your contract.
1. I am the customer. You must make me like you.
If I like you, I’ll want to work with you and take your contract off your hands. This is the primary function of our interaction, so it is of paramount importance.
2. More information is good information.
I’m so tired of seeing Facebook ads saying “hey, I have a Fall contract for sale. It’s cheap and close to campus. Message me for more details if you’re interested.” NO. Do not make me do more work than I have to. People often search online so they can avoid needless human interactions. Tell me what I want, what I really really want.
3. Vague information is unhelpful.
The previous point fabricated a listing that said “the apartment is close to campus.” In Provo, everybody says that on every single apartment ad. That’s a given. Ever since 2007 and BYU’s instigation of a 2-mile radius housing requirement, single undergraduate students have been crammed like sardines around the university. “Close to campus” is a given. “South of campus” isn’t much better; I reckon a solid 70% of apartments meet that description, considering that anything south of 900 N and between 600 W and 1300 E fit the bill.
4. Give me the exact address.
I’m about 30x more likely to press Back on your ad when you don’t explicitly give me the address or name of your complex. It’s as if you’re ashamed of its location and don’t want me to know how far away it is from campus. KSL and Craigslist both have a Location field: use it properly. “650 N 100 W, Provo” is much more effective than the complex’s name, “Provo”, “84604”, “Utah Valley”, or “United States”.
5. Tell me the sex of the occupants.
I’ve sent out “I’m interested” emails to far too many landlords who fail to specify that their amazing, close, cheap, and nice apartment is -SURPRISE!- for women only. It took you only two days to reply to my email; thanks Greg. Including this info in the body text for the ad makes everything easier for everyone. Sometimes I can use context clues like “this is a totes super cute house”, “me n my bros love this place”, and “velociraptor roommates; herbivore roommates will be eaten” that give me an inkling whether my roommates are dateable [do not recommend], share my chromosomes, or died 65 million years ago.
6. CAPITALIZING EVERY WORD IN THE SUBJECT MAKES YOU LOOK DESPERATE AND UNDESIRABLE – $285 – (THE BRANBURY) pic map
From a social view, all caps is akin to yelling and is frowned upon. From a designer view, words written in all caps are harder to read. On Craigslist, it makes you look like you’re craving attention and trying to allure people to rent at your far-away and heavily stigma’d apartment. I like to refer to you as “a complex with a complex.”
7. Properly identify the number of people in a room and apartment.
Is the room private? Do I share it with a roommate? Do I live in a basement apartment with a 7-foot high ceiling? Some people prefer cheaper rates and a roommate; other people [*cough*notme*cough*]have a myriad of stuff and boxes that necessitate a private room with more space.
8. Specify the time period for the contract.
Provo apartments function primarily on BYU’s and UVU’s semesters. BYU’s nomenclature usually takes precedence over UVU’s, so Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer are the usual time periods. Clearly state the time frame so no one is confused. “Wow, is that close-to-campus condo really only $300 for the fall? I’ll definitely live there! . . . Great googly moogly, that’s $300 for the summer term! Heck no, I’m not living there. [On that note, someone was selling his contract for one of the new south-campus monstrosities. He was dropping the rent down $50 to a much more affordable $515 a month for the condo. Seriously? Were you born in a river of gold? Do you sweat diamonds?]
9. Answer the FAQs.
How much are utilities? Do I need a parking sticker? What’s the guy-to-girl ratio in the ward? Am I statistically likely to get married here? Three of these questions are good and common and normal. I’ll let you decide which.
10. Let me know how to best reach you.
Provide adequate contact information for the manager/landlord/person selling the contract. Should I email you? Text you? Call you up at 4 AM asking inane questions about if I’ll get married if I move there? Let me know which times are best; I don’t like calling someone and not being able to get the information I desire.
There you have it, folks: 10 ways to be more effective in marketing and selling your housing contract. Make life easier for everyone involved. Your efforts will be appreciated.
Patience and Procrastination 